6 months!!!

Ok folks...today is my 6 month surgery anniversary! 6 months! It is beyond me that it's been 6 months! Holy cow!!! It's been quite a journey. Exhausting, exciting, exhilarating, and a lot of other ex words I'm sure! I have had great friends and family cheering me along...I've had strangers from FB cheering me along...and I've actually been cheering myself a long, which, I might add, is a new concept. I'm proud. It hasn't been easy. There have certainly been times when there is nothing more that I'd like to do than eat...and eat a lot...because that's how I've managed stress...and celebrated...and coped with sadness...and expressed excitement, for the past 40 years! That's what I do...well, it's what I did. There have been times when I've been real real mad that I couldn't eat more. Mad because I was stressed and I wanted desperately to stress eat! Times that I've wanted nothing more than comfort food...chicken fried steak...just to calm my soul. I could, in theory, eat a small portion of that mammoth chicken friend steak that always shows up on your table, and then you have this look on your face that says "wow...that's a lot of food..but after you've lost as much weight as I have, you have to really weigh in your options for splurges! They're so few and far between, mostly because all it takes is one and you've back up 3 lbs. I've never seen my weight fluctuate and jump back and forth within a day or two. It's frustrating when you stall. Very frustrating. My sweet friend Tammi just listens to me after my morning weigh in (yes, I still weigh in every day...don't tell nutritionist Meghan)! I weight in and then I tell her how I haven't lost anything in 2 weeks. My stomach is the size of a shot glass (kind of...more like one of those small tupperware containers, but shot glass sounds more dramatic) so I don't understand why the weight isn't just falling off of me, all the time!?! I really can't complain. I've lost...drum roll please...shh...everyone quiet...I've lost 105 lbs as of today! It's pretty exciting. The ladies at work have to take a double take when they see me from behind. As my friend Melissa said,"You'll be the same new with new geography!" My geography is definitely new! I mind still thinks I'm in bigger sizes. I still grab for the larger sizes at the store...I still hold up a tshirt and think "There's no way this will fit me!" and it ends up being too big! I can buy tshirts off of Woot.com now! it's crazy folks...crazy I tell ya! I'm still mad at Plano ISD insurance for not letting me do this 10 years ago!! But I'm here now...and it feels good. I still have a long way to go, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel..and that's real exciting!!! Real, real, exciting. ~Stacey

Perceptions and such...

There's a FB page of women only who have had weight loss surgery.  I see some of their pictures 1 and 2 years post op and I think...wow!  I'm very proud of my progress...things are going great...but let me tell you, I can't even IMAGINE myself looking as thin as some of these women do 1 year later!  It's just inconceivable to me!  I suppose it's that mental picture we have in our heads that just doesn't go away.  I guess this is where that whole "you might need some therapy during the process" thing comes from!  I'm not worried...I know that everything that's supposed to happen will happen and everything is happening because it's supposed to!   That said...I'm off for a walk...which has become a part of my daily routine.  I figure if the weight is coming off this slow when I'm walking, how horrible will it be if I wasn't! Right!?!?!

I did it!

So I did it! I made it to NYC and I walked that Brooklyn Bridge!! It was gorgeous and about a mile and a half. When we crossed half way I stopped, relished in the fact that I was going to finally be doing this, then I just stood still. I looked at the skyline of Brooklyn and I thought of the millions of people who walked across that bridge on 9/11. It was sobering. Here I was celebrating, when 10 years ago people ran...afraid for their lives! How horrible they must have felt! How scared! Wow. I just took it in and was just proud of myself and humbled by he fact that I was there...Where they had been.

So our trip was amazing...I walked and walked and walked and walked! Exhausted but proud that I was able to do it! On past trips we'd ride the subway once or twice, then can it the rest of the day! I saw so many fabulous people while there! I got to see 2
Tyler friends...one who was just visiting and the other who lives in NYC and has for a while. Good to see them both! We walked so much that's though that CERTAINLY I would come back and have lost weight! CERTAINLY!!! Well, WRONG! I gained about 6 lbs! Seriously?!!? I was heartbroken...and mad! Ugh. I spent the next week I spent a lot of time drinking protein shakes as my meals...thinking that I could lose those pounds I found pretty quickly...and again...WRONG! Big sih! I've now been back for a week and a half and have finally lost the weight. Thank goodness...and today i fit into the Levi's I bought before my trip! I haven't worn Levi's since
high school! I would just stop today in the bathroom and look at that red tag on my rear!! Silly...but exciting!!! Baby steps...and all in good time!

I'll try to post another pic soon. I'm definitely back to my college weight..maybe thinner! Yippeeeee!

Walking the Brooklyn Bridge!

So it's been a while since I've posted.  A long while.  That's mainly because things have slowed down a bit, which has indeed taken away some of my enthusiasm and fervor for writing!  But...here I am.  I'm back!  I had a little set back with a hurt back. Thank goodness it was nothing serious.  A couple of weeks in Physical Therapy and it's better.  No fixed...but better.  I pulled a muscle and found out that my herniated disk from about 5 years ago has fixed itself!  Now that's good news!!!  I'm on the mend and heading to New York City in 3 days! Yes...3 days! I'm so excited!  New York City is one of my favorite places! Love love love it!  I think one reason I haven't been back in several years is because it was hard work! It was not easy moving this old body from one place to another!  But I'm looking forward to this trip, 88 lbs lighter!  One of the first things we're doing is walking across the Brooklyn Bridge!  It's about 1.5 miles across. We'll start on the Brooklyn side and walk toward the city. Can. Not. Wait.  We've got a lot of other things planned and I'm sure pictures will follow!  I actually had to go shopping last weekend because I don't have any jeans to wear!  It was so much fun to just go into Ross, Marshall's, etc and get clothes! Wow!!  I loved that the jeans were cheap, since I'm probably going to be out of these jeans in a month or so.  It does make me a little sad that it is taking me a month or so to move through clothes...but I'm still moving and that's good.  It's been a little over 3 months and those first few months the clothes were falling off of my quicker than I could imagine!  All in good time...all in good time! :o)  I want to thank everyone for their continued support and encouragement!  I love that the folks at work call me "the incredible shrinking woman!" and I hear "Hey there skinny minny" at least 2-3 times a week!  Wow...what a concept! I'm in a FB group with a group of women who have been through the surgery and it's a great place to see the potential that I have ahead of me.  I can also go to them when I'm stressed about stalling or when I need to know about this whole losing hair thing, etc.  I am noticing that I'm losing some hair when I blow it dry and just hope that there is new hair growth right behind it!  I like my hair.  Yep yep.  Anyway, that's where things are.  I'm happy...I'm healthy...and I'm still thrilled I made this decision!

Holy Wow!

Well, it's been a minute since I posted...and since I'm using this blog as my attempt at therapy, I stopped today to try to figure out why I haven't wanted to "talk" to myself (an you guys) in my blog!  Well, I'm not real sure...so I'm just gonna type away and see what happens.

So this is the first thing I'd like to talk about. Yep...that's me on the left...and the right! Yep yep! The first picture was in October at our DMA event and the second picture was taken last weekend at our DMA event! Holy Wow! I have talked about this before, but until you actually SEE the picture and the difference it's still a little surreal.  SURREAL!  While I know this is what is supposed to happen...and what is actually happening, it is still pretty amazing when I see it! Happy Happy Happy!  This makes the little hiccups/stand stills that I've hit all make sense...it's all going the way it's intended...all in good time. I'm soooo on this!

Also, I hit the 75 lb mark today! Yep...you read it right...I've lost 75 lbs! Holy Wow AGAIN!  Again,excited!  I haven't been this size/weight in probably 10 years..if not more.  I'm looking forward to the next set of pounds that I lose!  There will be a need for shopping...guess I need to take those clothes to the resale shop sooner rather than later!

So, my exercise decresed tremendously, sad to say.  I've done something to my back.  I tried to walk the other day and shortly after I headed out I had to head back home....the next day the back was gone completely.  I have medicine and a MRI on Friday. I'm hoping it's something my Dr can fix with a shot or two!  The weather has been so so nice that I hate not being outside!  It's ok..everything happens for a reason...and it will all work out!  All in good time, right?!! Big sigh.

So, yea, things are going well.  Gotta get this back shaped up and I'll be good to go!  I'll touch base with you all when I have my next "I think I need to write something" moment! 

Third grade...gotta get weighed...and such.

It's busy season! It's official. Ugh.  UNT has started back.  Lamar has started back. and SFA has started back. Oh, and I have a real job! Good times!  These are the times that got me to the place that I needed to have the surgery in the first place.  It scares me a little bit...actually it scares me a lot.  While I realize is that I only have 4 oz of space in my tummy, poor choices can still mess things up!  I'm trying really hard to set up myself up...mindset and all...to make good choices and to get everything done in a timely and healthy manner! Yep...that's the plan! Wish me luck!

So, to reflect on my last week, I'm going to go all the way back to Friday! I went to see Susan and Elizabeth sing in Ft Worth.  The music was fabulous.  The company was fabulous...and the lemon cake was...you got it...fabulous! It was a really great night all together.  However, the icing on the cake was when my friend Susan just looked at me...with this sweet look on her face...with both of her hands on each side of her face...patting it...with a "WOW" look on her face...and said, "You just...you just..you just look so beautiful."  It's one thing when the people who see me all day every day...or when my family...says something nice...but when someone just says it...it was very nice.  It made me smile and it made my heart warm.  I'm including a song Susan sings that all us chubby girls have lived at one point or another...



The first line of the song alone is enough to make any chubby girl sweat a little! Thanks Suz for putting it all into song!!

So, last week when I walked I walked on the treadmill every day and shhh...don't tell anyone...but I actually ran a little.  Of course, my run is your walking fast. This week, in an attempt to throw my body a curve ball and encourage it to continue dropping the pounds/inches, etc I have walked distance.  2-3 miles at a time.  I would notice that I was walking...and I just kept walking and walking and walking!  One day I was walking and singing (poor neighbors) and another day I found myself walking and dancing.  Yes, dancing.  I do love the Pandora "Gwen Stefani" station!  Fergie...Gwen...Pink...good stuff!  And I would just walk aimlessly.  I wanted to make sure I hit 2 miles...or 3 miles...and I just kept walking!  It was a weird feeling.  I still think that how 2 months ago I would have laughed at you if you had said, "Just wait Callaway...you're gonna be a walking fool."  I think that's a stretch...but yea, I'm walking...and I kind of want to walk.  I walked when it was 40 degrees outside...bundled up and walked.  And of course, today, the weather was gorgeous and I couldn't get outside to walk before dark because of UNT stuff....but I did get outside and walked almost 2 miles. And, with all that walking I hope, pray, and really really want the scale to move tomorrow.  It hasn't been cooperating to the extent I'd like it to. I know, I know. I need to just let nature do it's thing.  I need to stay off the scale.  I need to just be...but it's hard.  The emotional part has probably been the hardest part so far.  Crazy isn't it?  Somewhere in the recesses of my mind I always thought that life would be so much easier/happier if I were just thin and/or losing weight.  Here I am...losing weight...and knowing that weight loss really is inevitable, especially right now (and for the next many months) and I'm still worried about it.  I suppose old habits die hard....right?

Eye on the prize!

Ok...so I've had a rough couple of days...maybe even weeks! I haven't seen the scale move at all and try as I might, I can't NOT look at the scale! I have tried and tried. So, I've accepted (I think) that my role in all this is to just accept what the scale says and deal with it. I will say the "stall" on the scale has sent me to the gym with much more fervor! I've actually found myself running (very slowly) in 30 second intervals! My goal is to get in a 20 minute mile and do whatever it takes to make that happen. Now, mind you, my exercise post-surgery has just been about moving. Walking. and not sitting. So, to think that 2 months later (yesterday was 8 weeks post-op) I'm moving my feet quick enough to call it a run...that's a big deal! I knew there would come a point that I'd step up my game, so to speak. The trainer is still an option...and I still haven't gotten the wheels aired up on the bike that my friends Shauna and Karen were kind enough to donate to my cause...but I'll get there!

So, in an attempt to push myself a little further and to give me a sense of success, I put together a before and after picture. I've looked at these pictures a hundred times, but until I put them side by side I don't think I really had any idea of a: how big I'd actually gotten and b: how well I'm really doing! So..I'm going to share it with you guys! Here ya go!

The picture on the left was taken at the DMA in October. That kiddo, ok, so he's a young man who happens to be taller than me, is my sweet little Christopher who I started babysitting when he was 2.  We continued working together for years in therapy and babysitting and though he probably doesn't know it, Christopher (and his family) played an important role in my life...in many special moments in my life! One of the sweetest moments was the day after I was diagnosed with my brain cyst I was babysitting...and when I wen to tuck Christopher into bed he started saying the Lord's Prayer.  I knew then that I was going to be ok! Thanks Christopher!  Ok, enough of that! Anyway...the picture on the right was taken a couple of weeks ago. You've seen this picture...I'm excited to see this picture!  I needed to see this picture...and I needed to see it compared to the other picture!  I needed to know that thus far, it's all been worth it.  The apple and peanut butter for dinner and boiled egg for lunch...it's all worth it!  The work is paying off and I continue to have my eye on the prize!!!