Wednesday, May 16, 2012

6 months!!!

Ok folks...today is my 6 month surgery anniversary! 6 months! It is beyond me that it's been 6 months! Holy cow!!! It's been quite a journey. Exhausting, exciting, exhilarating, and a lot of other ex words I'm sure! I have had great friends and family cheering me along...I've had strangers from FB cheering me along...and I've actually been cheering myself a long, which, I might add, is a new concept. I'm proud. It hasn't been easy. There have certainly been times when there is nothing more that I'd like to do than eat...and eat a lot...because that's how I've managed stress...and celebrated...and coped with sadness...and expressed excitement, for the past 40 years! That's what I do...well, it's what I did. There have been times when I've been real real mad that I couldn't eat more. Mad because I was stressed and I wanted desperately to stress eat! Times that I've wanted nothing more than comfort food...chicken fried steak...just to calm my soul. I could, in theory, eat a small portion of that mammoth chicken friend steak that always shows up on your table, and then you have this look on your face that says "wow...that's a lot of food..but after you've lost as much weight as I have, you have to really weigh in your options for splurges! They're so few and far between, mostly because all it takes is one and you've back up 3 lbs. I've never seen my weight fluctuate and jump back and forth within a day or two. It's frustrating when you stall. Very frustrating. My sweet friend Tammi just listens to me after my morning weigh in (yes, I still weigh in every day...don't tell nutritionist Meghan)! I weight in and then I tell her how I haven't lost anything in 2 weeks. My stomach is the size of a shot glass (kind of...more like one of those small tupperware containers, but shot glass sounds more dramatic) so I don't understand why the weight isn't just falling off of me, all the time!?! I really can't complain. I've lost...drum roll please...shh...everyone quiet...I've lost 105 lbs as of today! It's pretty exciting. The ladies at work have to take a double take when they see me from behind. As my friend Melissa said,"You'll be the same new with new geography!" My geography is definitely new! I mind still thinks I'm in bigger sizes. I still grab for the larger sizes at the store...I still hold up a tshirt and think "There's no way this will fit me!" and it ends up being too big! I can buy tshirts off of Woot.com now! it's crazy folks...crazy I tell ya! I'm still mad at Plano ISD insurance for not letting me do this 10 years ago!! But I'm here now...and it feels good. I still have a long way to go, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel..and that's real exciting!!! Real, real, exciting. ~Stacey