Thursday, January 19, 2012

Third grade...gotta get weighed...and such.

It's busy season! It's official. Ugh.  UNT has started back.  Lamar has started back. and SFA has started back. Oh, and I have a real job! Good times!  These are the times that got me to the place that I needed to have the surgery in the first place.  It scares me a little bit...actually it scares me a lot.  While I realize is that I only have 4 oz of space in my tummy, poor choices can still mess things up!  I'm trying really hard to set up myself up...mindset and make good choices and to get everything done in a timely and healthy manner! Yep...that's the plan! Wish me luck!

So, to reflect on my last week, I'm going to go all the way back to Friday! I went to see Susan and Elizabeth sing in Ft Worth.  The music was fabulous.  The company was fabulous...and the lemon cake got it...fabulous! It was a really great night all together.  However, the icing on the cake was when my friend Susan just looked at me...with this sweet look on her face...with both of her hands on each side of her face...patting it...with a "WOW" look on her face...and said, "You just look so beautiful."  It's one thing when the people who see me all day every day...or when my family...says something nice...but when someone just says was very nice.  It made me smile and it made my heart warm.  I'm including a song Susan sings that all us chubby girls have lived at one point or another...

The first line of the song alone is enough to make any chubby girl sweat a little! Thanks Suz for putting it all into song!!

So, last week when I walked I walked on the treadmill every day and shhh...don't tell anyone...but I actually ran a little.  Of course, my run is your walking fast. This week, in an attempt to throw my body a curve ball and encourage it to continue dropping the pounds/inches, etc I have walked distance.  2-3 miles at a time.  I would notice that I was walking...and I just kept walking and walking and walking!  One day I was walking and singing (poor neighbors) and another day I found myself walking and dancing.  Yes, dancing.  I do love the Pandora "Gwen Stefani" station!  Fergie...Gwen...Pink...good stuff!  And I would just walk aimlessly.  I wanted to make sure I hit 2 miles...or 3 miles...and I just kept walking!  It was a weird feeling.  I still think that how 2 months ago I would have laughed at you if you had said, "Just wait're gonna be a walking fool."  I think that's a stretch...but yea, I'm walking...and I kind of want to walk.  I walked when it was 40 degrees outside...bundled up and walked.  And of course, today, the weather was gorgeous and I couldn't get outside to walk before dark because of UNT stuff....but I did get outside and walked almost 2 miles. And, with all that walking I hope, pray, and really really want the scale to move tomorrow.  It hasn't been cooperating to the extent I'd like it to. I know, I know. I need to just let nature do it's thing.  I need to stay off the scale.  I need to just be...but it's hard.  The emotional part has probably been the hardest part so far.  Crazy isn't it?  Somewhere in the recesses of my mind I always thought that life would be so much easier/happier if I were just thin and/or losing weight.  Here I am...losing weight...and knowing that weight loss really is inevitable, especially right now (and for the next many months) and I'm still worried about it.  I suppose old habits die hard....right?

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