Reactions...I don't know that I really have/had any expectations as how to receive/accept the comments/compliments people make when they see me for the first time! I saw a lot of friends tonight who I haven't seen since weeks/months before surgery. So, tonight, 4 weeks after surgery, there were some "wow" faces! I'm thrilled! I think in my mind I will be the same size I was 4 weeks ago for a while....or actually where I am now, really, because I don't think I really realized how big I had gotten until...well, now. Maybe not right now, but for sure in the last 6 months, since that's when I decided to go ahead and go through with the surgery. Anyway...I did have a moment the other day when I saw myself in the mirror...just my face...and I took a double take. I was surprised. I think as women there is something inside us that can't ever really see what's really right in front of us...especially when it comes to self perceptions. It is always skewed. So, imagine my surprise when I thought I was going to see the old me...who, remember, I didn't really realize was as big as I was...and when I looked again, it's this newly evolving me? Are you confused? Yea..me too...but just go with it...I was/am consistently shocked. Shocked by the jeans that I haven't worn in 2 years fitting again. Shocked by my Susan Gibson tshirt fitting me with no need for tugs or stretches. Shocked that people are so kind and supportive. Shocked that this really is working! It really is working! I've had requests for some pictures...I'm not sure I'm quite ready to post any pictures for the sole purpose of seeing where I am with my weight loss, but I'm sure as the holidays progress there will be some pictures posted of me...especially on FB. I think the day is coming soon...just not yet.
I want to include this video. I have heard this song hundreds of times...and sang along to my friend Susan Gibson singing it show after show and around the campfire...I know it by heart....but tonight, as I was writing this blog, this song kept coming to my mind! "I don't mind things that don't matter these days" "The leaves are changing, from green to gold, I'll change with them, I'll be so bold..." "Vivid colored dreams, nothing's what it seems, I've turned inside out then back again." Change is coming, thoughts and feelings and emotions...and pants sizes! ...and I'm here, ready and very glad that you're here with me on this journey!
Evergreen by Susan Gibson