Friday, December 2, 2011
Big Sigh.
When I met with my neurologist before surgery he said, "You know this surgery won't make your Fibromyalgia go away. Skinny people have Fibro." I nodded, smiled, and acted like I understood, but I think in the back of my mind (or the front) I thought, oh heck yea...when I lose weight, this fibro is finished! I was abruptly yanked out of this reality yesterday. I couldn't figure out why my hips, of all things, hurt. I haven't really been walking much this week (and I was walking 3 times a day last week) so why would I be hurting. This morning when I woke up and climbed out of bed it hit me...almost literally...the hips hurt and now the body hurts...the feet hurt....the back hurts...I hurt. Shit. It's back. What I know about fibro is that weather is a trigger (hello cold wet weather) and stress is a trigger (hello back to work) and trauma to the body (hello, I just had my stomach ripped out) is a trigger. Ouch. Ouch. OUCH! I think I'm more sad than anything. Sad because the walk I took a week ago, 3 times a day, killed me tonight. All I wanted to do was see Santa down at City Hall tonight in Keller. It's half the walk that I typically take. OUCH! Big sigh. So, I'm trying really hard not to let this get the best of me. I'm trying hard not to be mad and sad. I'm trying hard not to whine. And I'm trying real hard not to let this slow me or my progress down. I don't have time for this. I can't have time for this. It has to go away. So, if you're a praying person...pray to whomever it is you pray to that this will just go away...at least for another couple of weeks. If you can ask for forever, that'd be great...but I think that's a little too pie in the sky. I feel silly asking for prayers for something like this when I really do feel like the luckiest girl in the world, especially when I know there are so many people who are truly struggling. What gives me the right to ask something like this? Big sigh.
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I'm sorry you're hurting, but don't feel down in the dumps just yet. You may be hurting because, as you said, you haven't been as active this week as you were last week. I don't know how fibro works, but with arthritis, the absolute best thing I can do for my body is be active, and drink plenty of water. Like you said though, weather and stress are big contributors to arthritis flare ups too, and sometimes, all we can do is fight through it, and not let it slow us down. What's that old phrase... "This too shall pass..."
ReplyDeleteThe most intelligent thing I have to say is, "Fibro sucks!" Lots of people in my life imply that the pain that I experience is from being overweight, and I don't know if you have felt this, but almost like its punishment for being fat. My family thinks the pain in my hips and legs is from extra weight and I should just head to the gym. The pain is much more than that. Thank you for validating so many of my feelings. It's been really bad lately with weather and stress. I know that losing weight would help, but it's not always that easy. I am a praying person, and I will pray for you. Keep up the good fight!
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